Initial Attraction – Principles of Social Psychology - BC Open ...

Physical Attractiveness. Although it may seem inappropriate or shallow to admit it, and although it is certainly not the only determinant of liking, people are ... Skiptocontent Chapter7.LikingandLoving InitialAttraction Summarizethevariablesthatleadtoinitialattractionbetweenpeople. Outlinethevariablesthatleadustoperceivesomeoneasphysicallyattractive,andexplainwhyphysicalattractivenessissoimportantinliking. Describethewaysthatsimilarityandcomplementarityinfluenceourlikingforothers. Definetheconceptofmereexposure,andexplainhowproximityinfluencesliking. Exploretherelationshipbetweenaffectandattraction.   Whenwesaythatwelikeorlovesomeone,weareexperiencinginterpersonalattraction—thestrengthofourlikingorlovingforanotherperson.Althoughinterpersonalattractionoccursbetweenfriends,familymembers,andotherpeopleingeneral,andalthoughouranalysiscanapplytotheserelationshipsaswell,ourprimaryfocusinthischapterwillbeonromanticattraction,whether inopposite-sexor same-sexrelationships.Thereisalargeliteratureonthevariablesthatleadustolikeothersinourinitialinteractionswiththem,andwe’llreviewthemostimportantfindingshere(Sprecher,Wenzel,&Harvey,2008). PhysicalAttractiveness Althoughitmayseeminappropriateorshallowtoadmitit,andalthoughitiscertainlynottheonlydeterminantofliking,peoplearestronglyinfluenced,atleastininitialencounters,bythephysicalattractivenessoftheirpartners(Swami&Furnham,2008). ElaineWalsterandhercolleagues(Walster,Aronson,Abrahams,&Rottman,1966) arrangedafieldstudyinwhichcollegeboysandgirlswererandomlypairedwithoneanotherata“computerdance.”Afterthepartnershaddancedandtalkedforacoupleofhours,theywereinterviewedseparatelyabouttheirownpreferencesandcharacteristicsaswellasabouttheirperceptionsoftheirdate.Walsterandhercolleaguesfoundthattheonlyimportantdeterminantofparticipants’likingfortheirdatewashisorherphysicalattractiveness.Noneoftheothercharacteristics—eventheperceivedintelligenceofthepartner—mattered. Perhapsthisfindingdoesn’tsurpriseyoutoomuch,giventheimportanceofphysicalattractivenessinpopular culture.MoviesandTVshowsoftenfeatureunusuallyattractivepeople,TVadsuseattractivepeopletopromotetheirproducts,andmany peoplespendconsiderableamountsofmoney eachyeartomakethemselveslookmoreattractive.Eveninfantswhoareonlyayearoldprefertolookatfacesthatadultsconsiderattractiveratherthanatunattractivefaces(Langlois,Ritter,Roggman,&Vaughn,1991). Peoplewhoareattractivearealsoseenashavingavarietyofpositivecharacteristics,andthesetraitsareactivatedquicklyandspontaneouslywhenweseetheirfaces(Olson&Marshuetz,2005;vanLeeuwen&Macrae,2004).Forinstance,moreattractivepeopleareseenasmoresociable,altruistic,andintelligentthantheirless attractivecounterparts(Griffin&Langlois,2006).Similarpatternshavebeenfoundinrelationtoonlinecontexts.Forexample,thosejudgedmoreattractiveonthebasisoftheironlinedatingsitephotographsarealsoratedashavingmorepositiveprofilesintermsoftextcontent(Brand,Bonatsos,D’Orazio,&DeShong,2012).  Attractivepeoplealsohavemorechoicesofsexpartners(Epstein,Klinkenberg,Scandell,Faulkner,&Claus,2007), aremorelikelytobeofferedjobs(Dubois&Pansu,2004), andmayevenlivelonger(Henderson&Anglin,2003).Thesepositiveevaluationsofandbehaviortowardattractivepeoplelikelyrelateto thebeliefthatexternalattractivenesssignifiespositiveinternalqualities,whichhasbeenreferredtoasthe whatisbeautifulisgoodstereotype(Dion,Berscheid,&Walster,1972). Althoughitissometimessaidthat“beautyisintheeyesofthebeholder”(i.e.,thateachpersonhashisorherownideaaboutwhatisbeautiful),thisisnotcompletelytrue.Thereisgoodagreementamongpeople,includingchildren,andwithinandacrosscultures,aboutwhichpeoplearemostphysicallyattractive(Berry,2000;Ramsey,Langlois,Hoss,Rubenstein,&Griffin,2004).Thisagreementisinpartduetosharednormswithinculturesaboutwhatisattractive,whichmayofcoursevaryamong cultures, butitisalsoduetoevolutionarypredispositionstoattendtoandbeinfluencedbyspecificcharacteristicsofothers. LeslieZebrowitzandhercolleagueshaveextensivelystudiedthetendencyforbothmenandwomentopreferfacialfeaturesthathaveyouthfulcharacteristics(Zebrowitz,1996). Thesefeaturesincludelarge,round,andwidelyspacedeyes,asmallnoseandchin,prominentcheekbones,andalargeforehead.Zebrowitzhasfoundthatindividualswhohaveyouthful-lookingfacesaremoreliked,arejudgedaswarmerandmorehonest,andalsoreceiveotherpositiveoutcomes.Parentsgivebaby-facedchildrenfewerchoresandpunishments,andpeoplewithyoung-lookingfacesarealsorequiredtopaylowermonetaryawardsincourtroomtrials(Zebrowitz&McDonald,1991). Ontheotherhand,baby-facedindividualsarealsoseenaslesscompetentthantheirmoremature-lookingcounterparts(Zebrowitz&Montpare,2005).   Figure7.2LeonardoDiCaprio.LeonardoDiCapriomaybepopularinpartbecausehehasayouthful-lookingface.ImagecourtesyofColinChou,http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:LeonardoDiCaprioNov08.jpg. Thepreferenceforyouthisfoundinourperceptionsofbothmenandwomenbutissomewhatstrongerforourperceptionsofwomen(Wade,2000). Thisisbecauseformen,althoughwedotendtopreferyouthfulfaces,wealsopreferstereotypicallymasculinefaces—thosewithlow,broadjawsandwithpronouncedboneridgesandcheekbones—andthesementendtolooksomewhatolder(Rhodes,2006). Wemaylikebaby-facedpeoplebecausetheyremindusofbabies,orperhapsbecausewerespondtobaby-facedpeoplepositively,theymayactmorepositivelytous. Somefacesaremoresymmetricalthanothers.Peoplearemoreattractedtofacesthataremoresymmetricalincomparisonwiththosethatarelesssymmetrical.Thismaybeinpartbecauseoftheperceptionthatpeoplewithsymmetricalfacesaremorehealthyandthusmakebetterreproductivemates(Rhodes,2006;Rhodesetal.,2001) andinpartbecausesymmetricalfacesseemmorefamiliarandthuslessthreateningtous(Winkielman&Cacioppo,2001). Theattractiontosymmetryisnotlimitedtofaceperception.Bodysymmetryisalsoalikelyindicatorofgoodgenes,andwomenfavormoresymmetricalmenassexualpartners(Gangestad&Thornhill,1997). Ifyouwouldliketoseewhatyourownfacewouldlooklikeifitwereperfectlysymmetrical,checkthiswebsite:http://www.symmeter.com/symfacer.htm. Figure7.3SymmetricalFacesAreAttractive.Thismodelisperhapsseenassoattractivebecauseherfaceissoperfectlysymmetrical.Source:Nicole-CovergirlbyTeamEdward4ever001(https://www.flickr.com/photos/teamedward4ever01/5763233452/)usedunderCCBYNCSAlicense(https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/) Althoughyoumightthinkthatwewouldpreferfacesthatareunusualorunique,infacttheoppositeistrue(Langlois,Roggman,&Musselman,1994). LangloisandRoggman(1990) showedcollegestudentsthefacesofmenandwomen.Thefaceswerecompositesmadeupoftheaverageof2,4,8,16,or32faces.Theresearchersfoundthatthemorefacesthatwereaveragedintothestimulus,themoreattractiveitwasjudged(Figure7.4,“FacialAverageness”).Aswiththefindingsforfacialsymmetry,onepossibleexplanationforourlikingofaveragefacesisthatbecausetheyaremoresimilartotheonesthatwehavefrequentlyseen,theyarethusmorefamiliartous(Grammer,Fink,Juette,Ronzal,&Thornhill,2002). Figure7.4FacialAverageness.Theseimages,fromhttp://www.hotornot.com,presentdifferencesinfacialaverageness.Theimagesatthebottomaremoreaveragethanthoseatthetop.(http://www.flickr.com/photos/pierre_tourigny/146532556/in/photostream/)ImagecourtesyofPierreTourigny(https://www.flickr.com/photos/pierre_tourigny/),usedunderCCBY(https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) Otherdeterminantsofperceivedattractivenessarehealthyskin,goodteeth,asmilingexpression,andgoodgrooming(Jones,Pelham,Carvall,&Mirenberg, 2004;Rhodes,2006;Willis,Esqueda,&Schacht,2008). Thesefeaturesmayalsohaveevolutionarysignificance—peoplewiththesecharacteristicsprobablyappeartobehealthy. Althoughthepreferencesforyouth,symmetry,andaveragenessappeartobeuniversal,atleastsomedifferencesinperceivedattractivenessareduetosocialfactors.Whatisseenasattractiveinoneculturemaynotbeseenasattractiveinanother,andwhatisattractiveinacultureatonetimemaynotbeattractiveatanothertime.Toconsideroneexample,inmodernWesterncultures,peoplepreferthosewhohavelittleexcessfatandwholookphysicallyfit(Crandall,Merman,&Hebl,2009;Hönekopp,Rudolph,Beier,Liebert,&Müller,2007;Weeden&Sabini,2005). However,thenormofthinnesshasnotalwaysbeeninplace.Thepreferenceforwomenwithslender,masculine,andathleticlookshasbecomestrongeroverthepast50yearsinWesterncultures,andthiscanbeseenbycomparingthefiguresoffemalemoviestarsfromthe1940sand1950swiththoseoftoday.Incontrasttotherelativelyuniversalpreferencesforyouth,symmetry,andaverageness,otherculturesdonotshowsuchastrongpropensityforthinness(Anderson,Crawford,Nadeau,&Lindberg,1992).Incultureswherefoodismorescarce,forexample,beingheavier asopposedtothinnerismoreassociatedwithperceivedattractiveness(Nelson&Morrison,2005). GenderDifferencesinPerceivedAttractiveness Youmightwonderwhethermenandwomenfinddifferentmatesattractive.Theanswerisyes,althoughasinmostcaseswithgenderdifferences,thedifferencesareoutweighedbyoverallsimilarities.Overall,bothmenandwomenvaluephysicalattractiveness,aswellascertainpersonalitycharacteristics,suchaskindness,humor,dependability,intelligence,andsociability;thisistrueacrossmanydifferentcultures(Berry,2000;Li,Bailey,Kenrick,&Linsenmeier,2002).  Formen,however,thephysicalattractivenessofwomenismostimportant;women,althoughalsointerestedintheattractivenessofmen,arerelativelymoreinterestedinthesocialstatusofapotentialpartner.Whentheyareforcedtochooseoneortheother,womenfrommanydifferentcultureshavebeenfoundtomoreoftenprioritizeaman’sstatusoverhisphysicalattractiveness,whereasmentendtoprioritizeawoman’sattractivenessoverherstatus(Li,Bailey,Kenrick,&Linsenmeier,2002). Thedifferencesbetweenthepreferencesofmenandwomenforopposite-sexromanticpartnershavebeendemonstratedinarchivalresearchthathasanalyzedtheadsplacedintheclassifiedsofnewspapersandonlineprofiles.Thepersonaladsthatmenplacewhentheyaresearchingforwomentendtofocusonthepreferredphysicalappearanceofthedesiredpartner.Personaladsplacedbywomenseekingmen,ontheotherhand,aremorelikelytospecifythepreferredpartner’sstatusandmaterialresources(Harrison&Saeed,1977;Wiederman,1993). Furthermore,womenactuallyrespondmoretomenwhoadvertisetheir(high)incomeandeducationallevels,whereasmenarelessinterestedinthisinformationinwomen’sads(Baize&Schroeder,1995). Thesefindingsseemtobeduetouniversalpreferencesofmenandwomen,becausesimilarpatternshavebeenfoundacrosscultures,andalso inadsseekingsame-sexpartners(Buss,1989). Agealsomatters,suchthatthepreferenceforyouthfulpartnersismoreimportantformenthanforwomen.Womenhavebeenfoundtobemorelikelytorespondtopersonaladsplacedbyrelativelyoldermen,whereasmentendtorespondtoadsplacedbyyoungerwomen—menofallages(eventeenagers)aremostattractedtowomenwhoareintheir20s.Youngerpeople(andparticularlyyoungerwomen)aremorefertilethanolderpeople,andresearchsuggeststhatmenmaythusbeevolutionarilypredisposedtolikethemmore(Buunk,Dijkstra,Kenrick,&Warntjes,2001;Dunn,Brinton,&Clark,2010;Kenrick&Li,2000). Anotherresearchfindingconsistentwiththeideathatmenarelookingforcuestofertilityintheirpartnersisthatacrossmanycultures,menhaveapreferenceforwomenwithalowwaist-to-hipratio(i.e.,largehipsandasmallwaist),ashapethatislikelytoindicatefertility.Ontheotherhand,womenprefermenwithamoremasculine-appearingwaist-to-hipratio(similarwaistandhipsize;Singh,1995;Swami,2006). Recentresearch,however,hassuggestedthatthesepreferences,too,maybeinpartduetoapreferenceforaverageness,ratherthantoaspecificpreferenceforaparticularwaist-to-hipratio(Donohoe,vonHippel,&Brooks,2009). Menacrossawiderangeofculturesare morewilling,onaverage,tohavecasualsexthanarewomen,andtheirstandardsforsexpartnerstendtobelower(Petersen&Hyde,2010;Saad,Eba,&Sejan,2009). Andwhenaskedabouttheirregretsinlife,menaremorelikelytowishtheyhadhadsexwithmorepartners,whereaswomenmoreoftenthanmenwishedtheyhadtriedhardertoavoidgettinginvolvedwithmenwhodidnotstaywiththem(Roeseetal.,2006). Thesedifferencesmaybeinfluencedby differentialevolutionary-basedpredispositionsofmenandwomen.Evolutionaryargumentssuggestthatwomenshouldbemoreselectivethanmenintheirchoicesofsexpartnersbecausetheymustinvestmoretimeinbearingandnurturingtheirchildrenthandomen(mostmendohelpout,ofcourse,butwomensimplydomore;Buss&Kenrick,1998). Becausetheydonotneedtoinvestalotoftimeinchildrearing,menmaybeevolutionarilypredisposedtobemorewillinganddesiringofhavingsexwithmanydifferentpartnersandmaybelessselectiveintheirchoiceofmates.Womenontheotherhand,becausetheymustinvestsubstantialeffortinraisingeachchild,shouldbemoreselective. Butgenderdifferencesinmatepreferencesmayalsobeaccountedforintermsofsocialnormsandexpectations.Overall,onaverage,acrosstheworldasawhole,womenstilltendtohavelowerstatusthanmen,andasaresult,theymayfinditimportanttoattempttoraisetheirstatusbymarryingmenwhohavemoreofit.Menwho,onaverage,alreadyhavehigherstatusmaybelessconcernedinthisregard,allowingthemtofocusrelativelymoreonphysicalattractiveness.Consistentwiththesearguments,somestudiesshowthatwomen’spreferenceformenofhighstatus,ratherthanforphysicallyattractivemen,isgreatestinculturesinwhichwomenarelesswelleducated,poorer,andhavelesscontroloverconceptionandfamilysize(Petersen&Hyde,2010). WhyIsPhysicalAttractivenessSoImportant? Youmightfindyourselfwonderingwhypeoplefindphysicalattractivenesssoimportantwhenitseemstosaysolittleaboutwhatthepersonisreallylikeasaperson.Ifbeautyisreallyonly“skindeep,”astheproverbgoes,whyarewesoconcernedwithit? Onereasonthatwelikeattractivepeopleisbecausetheyarerewarding.Welikebeingaroundattractivepeoplebecausetheyareenjoyabletolookatandbecausebeingwiththemmakesusfeelgoodaboutourselves.Attractivenesscanimplyhighstatus,andwenaturallylikebeingaroundpeoplewhohaveit.Furthermore,thepositivefeaturesofattractivepeopletendto“ruboff”onthosearoundthemasaresultofassociationallearning(Sigall&Landy,1973). Aswetouchedonearlierinourdiscussionofthewhatisbeautifulisgoodheuristic,wemayalsolikeattractivepeoplebecausetheyareseenasbetterfriendsandpartners.Physicallymoreattractivepeopleareseenasmoredominant,sexuallywarm,mentallyhealthy,intelligent,andsociallyskilledthanarephysicallyless attractivepeople(Eagly,Ashmore,Makhijani,&Longo,1991).Theseassumptionsabouttheinternalqualitiesofattractivepeoplealsoshowsomecross-culturalconsistency.Forexample, individualsfromEasternandWesternculturestendtoagreethatattractivenesssignifiesqualitieslikesociabilityandpopularity.Ontheotherhand,thereissomeevidencethatthosefromcollectivisticcultures,whichstressinterdependence,tendtoequateattractivenesswithtraitsrelatedtoconcernforothersthanthosefrommoreindependentlyoriented,individualisticcultures(Wheeler&Kim,1997).Theoppositewasfoundinregardstotraitsstressingindependence. Oneoutcomeof favorableevaluationsofandbehaviorstowardattractivepeopleisthatthey receivemanysocialbenefitsfromothers.Attractivepeoplearegivenbettergradesonessayexams,aremoresuccessfulonjobinterviews,andreceivelightersentencesincourtjudgmentsincomparisonwiththeirlessattractivecounterparts(Hosoda,Stone-Romero,&Coats,2003). Weareallofcourseawareofthephysicalattractivenessstereotypeandmakeuseofitwhenwecan.Wetrytolookourbestondates,atjobinterviews,and(notnecessary,wehope!)forcourtappearances. Aswithmanystereotypes,theremaybesometruthtothewhatisbeautifulisgood stereotype.Researchhasfoundatleastsomeevidencefortheideathatattractivepeopleareactuallymoresociable,morepopular,andlesslonelycomparedwithlessattractiveindividuals(Diener,Wolsic,&Fujita,1995). Theseresultsareprobablypartlytheresultofself-fulfillingprophecies.Becausepeopleexpectattractiveotherstobefriendlyandwarm,andbecausetheywanttobearoundthem,theytreatattractivepeoplemorepositivelythantheydounattractivepeople.Intheend,thismayleadattractivepeopletodevelopthesepositivecharacteristics(Zebrowitz,Andreoletti,Collins,Lee,&Blumenthal,1998). However,aswithmoststereotypes,ourexpectationsaboutthedifferentcharacteristicsofattractiveandunattractiveindividualsaremuchstrongerthantherealdifferencesbetweenthem. Similarity:WeLikeThoseWhoAreLikeUs Althoughitisaveryimportantvariable,findingsomeonephysicallyattractiveisofcourseoftenonlythefirststageindevelopingacloserelationshipwithanotherperson.Ifwefindsomeoneattractive,wemaywanttopursuetherelationship.Andifwearelucky,thatpersonwillalsofindusattractiveandbeinterestedinthepossibilityofdevelopingacloserrelationship.Atthispoint,wewillbegintocommunicate,sharingourvalues,beliefs,andinterests,andbegintodeterminewhetherwearecompatibleinawaythatleadstoincreasedliking. Relationshipsaremorelikelytodevelopandbemaintainedtotheextentthatthepartnersshareexternal,demographiccharacteristics,andinternaloneslikevaluesandbeliefs.Researchacrossmanycultureshasfoundthatpeopletendtolikeandassociatewithotherswhosharetheirage,education,race,religion,levelofintelligence,andsocioeconomicstatus(Watsonetal.,2004).Ithasevenbeenfoundthattallerpeopletendtolikeothertallpeople,thathappypeopletendtolikeotherhappypeople,andthatpeopleparticularlyenjoybeingwithotherswhohavethesamebirthdayandasimilarsenseofhumor(Jones,Pelham,Carvallo,&Mirenberg,2004;Pinel,Long,Landau,Alexander,&Pyszczynski,2006). Oneclassicstudy(Newcomb,1961) arrangedformaleundergraduates,allstrangers,tolivetogetherinahousewhiletheyweregoingtoschool.Themenwhoseattitudesweresimilarduringthefirstweekendedupbeingfriends,whereasthosewhodidnotinitiallyshareattitudesweresignificantlylesslikelytobecomefriends. WhyDoesSimilarityMatter? Similarityleadstoattractionforavarietyofreasons.Forone,similaritymakesthingseasier.Youcanimaginethatifyouonlylikedtogotoactionmoviesbutyourpartner onlylikedtogotoforeignfilms,thiswouldcreatedifficultiesinchoosinganeveningactivity.Thingswouldbeevenmoreproblematicifthedissimilarityinvolvedsomethingevenmoreimportant,suchasyourattitudestowardtherelationshipitself.Perhapsyouwanttohavesexbutyourpartnerdoesn’t,orperhapsyourpartnerwantstogetmarriedbutyoudon’t.Thesedissimilaritiesaregoingtocreaterealproblems.Romanticrelationshipsinwhichthepartnersholddifferentreligiousandpoliticalorientationsordifferentattitudestowardimportantissuessuchaspremaritalsex,marriage,andchildrearingareofcoursenotimpossible—buttheyaremorecomplicatedandtakemoreefforttomaintain. Inadditiontobeingeasier,relationshipswiththosewhoaresimilartousarealsoreinforcing.Imagineyouaregoingtoamoviewithyourverybestfriend.Themoviebegins,andyourealizethatyouarestartingtolikeitalot.Atthispoint,youmightlookoveratyourfriendandwonderhowsheisreactingtoit.Oneofthegreatbenefitsofsharingbeliefsandvalueswithothersisthatthoseotherstendtoreactthesamewaytoeventsasyoudo.Wouldn’titbepainfulifeverytimeyoulikedamovie,yourbestfriendhatedit,andeverytimeyourfriendlikedit,youhatedit?Butyouprobablydon’tneedtoworrytoomuchaboutthis,becauseyourfriendisprobablyyourfriendingoodpartbecauseheorshelikesthesamethingsyoulike.Oddsarethatifyoulikethemovie,yourfriendwilltoo,andbecauseheorshedoes,youcanfeelgoodaboutyourselfandaboutyouropinionsofwhatmakesagoodmovie.Sharingourvalueswithothersandhavingotherssharetheirvalueswithushelpusvalidatetheworthinessofourself-concepts.Findingsimilaritieswithanothermakesusfeelgoodandmakesusfeelthattheotherpersonwillreciprocateourlikingforthem(Singh,Yeo,Lin,&Tan,2007). StatusSimilarity Many peoplewanttohavefriendsandformrelationshipswithpeoplewhohavehighstatus.They prefertobewithpeoplewhoarehealthy,attractive,wealthy,fun,andfriendly.Buttheirabilitytoattractsuchhigh-statuspartnersislimitedbytheprinciplesofsocialexchange.Itisnoaccidentthatattractivepeoplearemoreabletogetdateswithotherattractivepeople,forexample.Thebasicprinciplesofsocialexchangeandequitydictatethattherewillbegeneralsimilarityinstatusamongpeopleincloserelationshipsbecauseattractivenessisaresourcethatallowspeopletoattractotherpeoplewithresources(Kalick&Hamilton,1986;Lee,Loewenstein,Ariely,Hong,&Young,2008).Ofcourse,thereareexceptionstoeveryrule,andalthoughitseemssurprisingtouswhenonepartnerappearsmuchmoreattractivethantheother,wemaywellassumethatthelessattractivepartnerisofferingsometypeof(perhapslessvisible)socialstatusinreturn. Thereisstilloneothertypeofsimilaritythatisimportantindeterminingwhetherarelationshipwillgrowandcontinue,anditisalsobasedontheprinciplesofsocialexchangeandequity.Thefindingisrathersimple—wetendtopreferpeoplewhoseemtolikeusaboutasmuchaswelikethem.Imagine,forinstance,thatyouhavemetsomeoneandyouarehopingtopursuearelationshipwiththatperson.Youbegintogiveyourselftotherelationshipbyopeninguptotheotherperson,tellinghimorheraboutyourselfandmakingitclearthatyouwouldliketopursueacloserrelationship.Youmakeyourselfavailabletospendtimewiththepersonandcontacthimorherregularly.Youhopethatheorshefeelsthesameamountofliking,andthatyouwillreceivethe sametypeofbehaviorsinreturn. Ifthepersondoesnotreturntheopennessandgiving,therelationshipisnotgoingtogoveryfar. Relationshipsinwhichonepersonlikestheothermuchmorethantheotherlikeshimorhercanbe inherentlyunstablebecausetheyarenotbalancedorequitable.Anunfortunateexampleofsuchanimbalancedrelationshipoccurswhenoneindividualcontinuallyattemptstocontactandpursuearelationshipwithanotherpersonwhoisnotinterestedinone.Itisdifficultforthesuitortogiveupthepursuitbecauseheorshefeelspassionatelyinlovewiththeother,andhisorherself-esteemwillbehurtiftheotherpersonisrejecting.Butthesituationisalsonotcomfortable fortheindividualwhoisbeingpursuedbecausethatpersonfeelsbothguiltyaboutrejectingthesuitorandangrythatthesuitorcontinuesthepursuit(Baumeister&Wotman,1992). Suchsituationsarenotuncommonandrequirethattheindividualwhoisbeingpursuedmakeitcompletelyclearthatheorsheisnotinterestedinanyfurthercontact. Thereisaclearmoraltotheimportanceoflikingsimilarity,anditpaystorememberitineverydaylife.Ifweacttowardothersinapositiveway,thisexpresseslikingandrespectforthem,andtheotherswilllikelyreturnthecompliment.Beingliked,praised,andevenflatteredbyothersisrewarding,and(unlessitistooblatantandthusingratiating,aswesawwhenwediscussedself-presentation)wecanexpectthatotherswillenjoyit. Insum,similarityisprobablythemostimportantsingledeterminantofliking.Althoughwemaysometimespreferpeoplewhohavedifferentinterestsandskillsfromours(Beach,Whitaker,Jones,&Tesser,2001;Tiedens&Jimenez,2003), whenitcomestopersonalitytraits,itissimilaritythatmatters—complementarity(beingdifferentfromtheother)justdoesnotgenerallyhavemuchinfluenceonliking. Proximity Ifsomeone weretoaskyouwhoyoumightendupmarrying(assumingyouarenotmarriedalreadyandwouldliketogetmarried), they wouldguessthatyou’drespondwithalistofperhapsthepreferredpersonalitytraitsoranimageofyourdesiredmate.You’dprobablysaysomethingaboutbeingattractive,rich,creative,fun,caring,andsoforth.Andthereisnoquestionthatsuchindividualcharacteristicsmatter.Butsocialpsychologistsrealizethatthereareotheraspectsthatareperhapsevenmoreimportant.Considerthis: You’llnevermarrysomeonewhomyounevermeet! Althoughthatseemsobvious,it’salsoreallyimportant.Thereareabout7billionpeopleintheworld,andyouareonlygoingtohavetheopportunitytomeetatinyfractionofthosepeoplebeforeyoumarry.Thisalsomeansthatyouarelikelytomarrysomeonewho’sprettysimilartoyoubecause,unlessyoutravelwidely,mostofthepeopleyoumeetaregoingtoshareatleast partofyour culturalbackgroundandthereforehavesomeofthevaluesthatyouhold.Infact,thepersonyoumarryprobablywillliveinthesamecityasyou,attendthesameschool,takesimilarclasses,workinasimilarjobandbesimilartoyouinother respects(Kubitschek&Hallinan,1998). Althoughmeetingsomeoneisanessentialfirststep,simplybeingaroundanotherpersonalsoincreasesliking.Peopletendtobecomebetteracquaintedwith,andmorefondof,eachotherwhenthesocialsituationbringsthemintorepeatedcontact,whichisthebasic principleofproximityliking.Forinstance,researchhasfoundthatstudentswhositnexttoeachotherinclassaremorelikelytobecomefriends,andthisistrueevenwhentheseatingisassignedbytheinstructor(Back,Schmukle,&Egloff,2008). Festinger,Schachter,andBack(1950) studiedfriendshipformationinpeoplewhohadrecentlymovedintoalargehousingcomplex.Theyfoundnotonlythatpeoplebecamefriendswiththosewholivednearthembutthatpeoplewholivednearerthemailboxesandatthefootofthestairwayinthebuilding(wheretheyweremorelikelytocomeintocontactwithothers)wereabletomakemorefriendsthanthosewholivedattheendsofthecorridorsinthebuildingandthushadfewersocialencounterswithothers. Themereexposureeffectreferstothetendencytopreferstimuli(including,butnotlimitedto,people)thatwehaveseenfrequently.ConsidertheresearchfindingspresentedinFigure7.5,“MereExposureintheClassroom.”Inthisstudy,MorelandandBeach(1992) hadfemaleconfederatesattendalargelectureclassofover100students5,10,or15timesornotatallduringasemester.Attheendoftheterm,thestudentswereshownpicturesoftheconfederatesandaskedtoindicateiftheyrecognizedthemandalsohowmuchtheylikedthem.Thenumberoftimestheconfederateshadattendedclassdidn’tinfluencetheotherstudents’recognitionofthem,butitdidinfluencetheirlikingforthem.Aspredictedbythemere-exposurehypothesis,studentswhohadattendedmoreoftenwerelikedmore. Figure7.4MereExposureintheClassroom RichardMorelandandScottBeachhadfemaleconfederatesvisitaclass5,10,or15timesornotatalloverthecourseofasemester.Thenthestudentsratedtheirlikingoftheconfederates.Themereexposureeffectisclear.DataarefromMorelandandBeach(1992). Theeffectofmereexposureispowerfulandoccursinawidevarietyofsituations(Bornstein,1989). Infantstendtosmileataphotographofsomeonetheyhaveseenbeforemorethantheysmileatsomeonetheyareseeingforthefirsttime(Brooks-Gunn&Lewis,1981). Andpeoplehavebeenfoundtopreferleft-to-rightreversedimagesoftheirownfaceovertheirnormal(nonreversed)face,whereastheirfriendsprefertheirregularfaceoverthereversedone(Mita,Dermer,&Knight,1977). Thisalsoisexpectedonthebasisofmereexposure,sincepeopleseetheirownfacesprimarilyinmirrorsandthusareexposedtothereversedfacemoreoften. Mereexposuremaywellhaveanevolutionarybasis.Wehaveaninitialandpotentiallyprotectivefearoftheunknown,butasthingsbecomemorefamiliar,theyproducemorepositivefeelingsandseemsafer(Freitas,Azizian,Travers,&Berry,2005;Harmon-Jones&Allen,2001). Whenthestimuliarepeople,theremaywellbeanaddedeffect—familiarpeoplearemorelikelytobeseenaspartoftheingroupratherthantheoutgroup,andthismayleadustolikethemevenmore.LeslieZebrowitzandhercolleaguesshowedthatwelikepeopleofourownraceinpartbecausetheyareperceivedasfamiliartous(Zebrowitz,Bronstad,&Lee,2007). Keep inmindthatmereexposureappliesonlytothechangethatoccurswhenoneiscompletelyunfamiliarwithanotherperson(orobject)andsubsequentlybecomesmorefamiliarwithhimorher.Thusmereexposureappliesonlyintheearlystagesofattraction.Later,whenwearemorefamiliarwithsomeone,thatpersonmaybecometoofamiliarandthusboring.Youmayhaveexperiencedthiseffectwhenyoufirstboughtsomenewsongsandbegantolistentothem.Perhapsyoudidn’treallylikeallthesongsatfirst,butyoufoundyourselflikingthemmoreandmoreasyouplayedthemmoreoften.Ifthishashappenedtoyou,youhaveexperiencedmereexposure.Butperhapsonedayyoudiscoveredthatyouwerereallytiredofthesongs—theyhadbecometoofamiliar.Youputthesongsawayforawhile,onlybringingthemoutlater,whenyoufoundthatlikedthemmoreagain(theywerenowlessfamiliar).Peoplepreferthingsthathaveanoptimalleveloffamiliarity—neithertoostrangenortoowellknown(Bornstein,1989). AffectandAttraction Becauseourrelationshipswithothersarebasedinlargepartonemotionalresponses,itwillcomeasnosurprisetoyoutohearthataffectisparticularlyimportantininterpersonalrelationships.Therelationshipbetweenmoodandlikingisprettystraightforward.Wetendtolikepeoplemorewhenweareingoodmoodsandtolikethemlesswhenweareinbadmoods.Thispredictionfollowsdirectlyfromtheexpectationthataffectivestatesprovideuswithinformationaboutthesocialcontext—inthiscase,thepeoplearoundus.Positiveaffectsignalsthatitissafeanddesirabletoapproachtheotherperson,whereasnegativeaffectismorelikelytoindicatedangerandtosuggestavoidance. Moodsareparticularlyimportantandinformativewhentheyarecreatedbythepersonweareinteractingwith.Whenwefindsomeoneattractive,forinstance,weexperiencepositiveaffect,andweenduplikingthepersonevenmore.However,moodthatiscreatedbycausesotherthantheotherpersoncanalsoinfluenceliking.AliceIsenandhercolleagues(Isen&Levin,1972) createdavarietyofsituationsdesignedtoputpeopleingoodmoods.Theyhadparticipantsunexpectedlyfindacoininaphonebooth,playedthemsomesoothingmusic,orprovidedthemasnackofmilkandcookiesatanexperimentalsession.Ineachofthesecases,theparticipantswhohadbeenprovidedwiththepleasantexperienceindicatedmorepositivemoodincomparisonwithotherparticipantswhohadnotreceivedthepositiveexperience—andtheyalsoexpressedmorelikingforotherthingsandotherpeople.Themoralofthestoryisclear—ifyouwanttogetsomeonetolikeyou,putthatpersoninagoodmood.Furthermore,itisprettyeasytodoso—simplybringingflowers,lookingyourbest,ortellingafunnyjokemightwellbeenoughtobeeffective. ResearchFocus ArousalandAttraction Althoughtherelationshipbetweenmoodandlikingisverysimple,therelationshipbetweenourcurrentstateofphysiologicalarousalandlikingismorecomplex.ConsideranexperimentbyGregoryWhiteandhiscolleagues(White,Fishbein,&Rutsein,1981) inwhichtheparticipants,malecollegestudents,wereaskedtocompleteanumberofdifferenttasksinalaboratorysetting.Inonepartofthestudy,themenwereaskedtoruninplaceforeitherashorttime(15seconds)oralongertime(120seconds).Thenthemenviewedavideotapeofeitheranattractiveoranunattractivewomanwhowassupposedlyasophomoreatthecollege.Inthevideo,shetalkedaboutherhobbiesandcareerinterestsandindicatedthatshewasinterestedinmeetingpeopleanddidnothaveaboyfriend.Themen,whothoughtthattheywouldsoonbemeetingthewoman,ratedhowromanticallyattractedtheyweretoher. Confirmingthattheexperimentalmanipulationhadcreatedhighandlowlevelsofarousal,Whiteandhiscolleaguesfoundthattheheartrateandothersignsofphysiologicalarousalwerehigherfortheparticipantswhohadexercisedlonger.Theydidnotfindthatthearousalcreatedbyrunninginplacefor120secondsincreasedordecreasedlikingdirectly,buttheydidfindaninteractionbetweenarousallevelandtheattractivenessofthewomanbeingjudged.Asyoucanseeinthefollowingfigure,themenwhohadbeenarousedbyrunninginplacelikedtheattractivewomanmoreandtheunattractivewomanlessthanthemenwhowerelessaroused.   Figure7.6 Arousalpolarizesjudgments.Inthisexperiment,malecollegestudentsratedanattractiveoranunattractivewomanaftertheyhadruninplacefor15seconds(lowarousal)orfor120seconds(higharousal).Thejudgmentsunderarousalarepolarized.DataarefromWhite,Fishbein,andRutstein(1981). Inanotherinterestingfieldstudy,DuttonandAron(1974) hadanattractiveyoungwomanapproachindividualyoungmenastheycrossedalong,wobblysuspensionbridgehangingover200feetabovetheCapilanoRiverinBritishColumbia.Thewomanaskedeachmantohelpherfilloutaquestionnaireforaclassproject.Whenhehadfinished,shewrotehernameandphonenumberonapieceofpaperandinvitedhimtocallifhewantedtohearmoreabouttheproject.Overhalfofthemenwhohadbeeninterviewedonthebridgelatercalledher.Incontrast,menwhowereapproachedonalowsolidbridgebythesameexperimenter,orwhowereinterviewedonthesuspensionbridgebymen,calledtolearnabouttheproject significantlylessfrequently.Echoingourdiscussionofsocialcognitionandaffect,oneinterpretationofthisfindingisthatthemenwhowereinterviewedonthebridgewereexperiencingarousalasaresultofbeingonthebridgebutthattheymisattributedtheirarousalaslikingforthefemaleinterviewer.   Figure7.7Arousalcausedbytheheightofthisbridgewasmisattributedasattractionbythemenwhowereinterviewedbyanattractivewomanastheycrossedthebridge(http://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/File:CapilanoBridge.jpg)byLeonardG(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Leonard_G.)underCCSA(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/sa/1.0/)   Thesestudiesandmanyotherslikethemdemonstratethatarousalpolarizesliking(Foster,Witcher,Campbell,&Green,1998). Whenwearearoused,everythingseemsmoreextreme.Thiseffectisnotunexpectedbecausethefunctionofarousalinemotionistoincreasethestrengthofanemotionalresponse.Lovethatisaccompaniedbyarousal(sexualorotherwise)isstrongerlovethanlovethathasalowerlevelofarousal.Andourfeelingsofanger,dislike,ordisgustarealsostrongerwhentheyareaccompaniedbyhigharousal. Aswithmoodstates,arousalmaysometimescomedirectlyfromthepartner.Bothveryattractiveandveryunattractivepeoplearelikelytobemorearousingthanarepeoplewhoaremoreaverageinattractiveness,andthisarousalmaycreatestrongfeelingsoflikeordislike.Inothercases,thearousalmaycomefromanothersource,suchasfromexercising,walkingacrossahighbridge,oraroller-coasterride. Thestrongfeelingsthatweexperiencetowardanotherpersonthatareaccompaniedbyincreasesinarousalandsexualattractionarecalledpassion,andtheemotionallyintenselovethatisbasedonpassionisknownaspassionatelove—thekindoflovethatweexperiencewhenwearefirstgettingtoknowaromanticpartner.Again,thereisacleartake-homelessonforyou:Ifyoulikeapersonandthinkthatthepersonlikesyouinreturn,andifyouwanttogetthatpersontolikeyoumore,thenitwillbehelpfultocreatesomeextraarousalinthatperson,perhapsbygoingtoascarymovie,takingthemupatallbuildingfordinner,orevenmeetingforaworkoutatthegym.Ontheotherhand,youneedtobesurethattheotherpersonisinitiallypositivelyinclinedtowardyou.Ifnot,arousingexperiencescouldmakemattersevenworse! Particularlyininitialencounters,peoplearestronglyinfluencedbythephysicalattractivenessoftheotherperson. Peopletendtopreferpeoplewhoareyoung,whohavesymmetricalfacialfeaturesandbodies,andwhoappearaverage.Thesepreferencesmaybebecausethesefeaturessuggesttousthatthepersonishealthy. Althoughmenandwomenagreeonmanyaspectsofwhattheyfindattractive,womenarerelativelymorefocusedonthesocialstatusoftheirromanticpartners,whereasmenaremorefocusedontheyouthandattractivenessoftheirpartners. Wetendtolikepeoplewhoshareourvaluesandbeliefs,bothbecausesimilaritymakesthingseasierandbecausesimilarityreinforcesourownvaluesandbeliefs. Proximityandtheprincipleofmereexposurearetwoimportantdeterminantsofinterpersonalattraction. Wetendtolikepeoplemorewhenweareinagoodmood. Ourcurrentstateofphysiologicalarousaltendstopolarizeourliking.   Considersomepeoplethatyoufindmostattractive.Whichof thecharacteristicsthatsocialpsychologistshavefoundtobeimportantdoyouthinkapplyhere?Whichdonot?Whatothercharacteristicsdoyouthinkareimportantindetermininghowattractiveyouperceiveothersasbeing? 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Zebrowitz,L.A.,&Montepare,J.M.(2005).Appearancedoesmatter. Science,308(5728),1565–1566.   Previous:Chapter7.LikingandLoving Next:CloseRelationships:LikingandLovingovertheLongTerm Backtotop License PrinciplesofSocialPsychology-1stInternationalH5PEditionbyDr.RajivJhangianiandDr.HammondTarryislicensedunderaCreativeCommonsAttribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike4.0InternationalLicense,exceptwhereotherwisenoted. ShareThisBook ShareonTwitter