11 Ways to Stop Feeling Sad Right Now - Oprah Daily

When something negative happens—a breakup, a death, a job loss—it can feel lonely and like your world is ending. Here's how to stop feeling ... SearchOprahDailyInsidersSubscribeInsiderExclusiveStoriesIntentionsTheLifeYouWantClassesOprah'sFavoriteThingsYourHealthiestSelfBooksRelationshipsCultureTV&MoviesMusicWorkandMoneyLifestyleFoodTravelBeautyHairSkin&MakeupStyleTheOprahDailyShopTheLifeYouWantPlannerLiveYourBestLiveTravelMugNewsletterAboutUsFollowInstagramFacebookTwitterPinterestDoNotSellMyPersonalInformationSkiptoContentBooksLifestyleBeautyStyleFavoriteThingsSubscribesigninOureditorshandpicktheproductsthatwefeature.Wemayearncommissionfromthelinksonthispage.GettyImagesItcancomeoutofnowhere,withnorhymeorreason,oritcanfollowacrushingbreakup,thelossofsomeonespecial,oranyotherparticularlytoughtime.Itcanslowlyrollin,likethedarkcloudsbeforeastorm,oritcanhityousuddenly,withoutanywarning.Whateverformitcomesin,sadnessissomethingweallexperience—andyetitcanstillbeincrediblydifficulttogetpast.Buthere'sthething:Youcanlearnhowtostopbeingsad.Whilesometried-and-truemethodsrequireyoutodigdeep,otherwaystobeatthebluesareincrediblysimple,likespendingmoretimeoutside,watchingashowthat'spracticallyguaranteedtomakeyoulaugh,and,yes,cryingyoureyesout.(No,spendingalldayonthecouch,withapintofChunkyMonkeyinonehandandyourfavoriteglassofredintheotherisnotascientifically-proventechniqueforlettinggoofsadness,unfortunately.)Onethingtonote:Ifyou'restillfeelingupsetafteraperiodoftwoweeksandifyounoticeanyothersymptoms—likelossofenergy,troubleconcentrating,ordifficultysleeping—youshouldreachouttoaprofessionalforhelp.Ahead,psychologistsandmentalhealthexpertssharetheirtoptipsforhowtostopfeelingsad,regardlessofyourtriggers.First,don’tfeelbadaboutfeelingsad.Whensomethingnegativehappensinyourlife,itcanseemlikeyourworldisending.Butinsteadofsuppressingordismissingyouremotions—eitherbydistractingyourselforkeepingupagoodfront—youshouldactuallyembracethem.“Allemotionsareimportanttoexperienceandhavevaluableinformationforusaboutourlives,”saysDr.LoriRockmore,Psy.D.Infact,a2017studypublishedintheJournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychologyconcluded“individualswhoacceptratherthanjudgetheirmentalexperiencesmayattainbetterpsychologicalhealth,inpartbecauseacceptancehelpsthemexperiencelessnegativeemotioninresponsetostressors.”Insteadofbeatingyourselfupforfeelingdown,trytoconsiderthisasanopportunitytolearn,grow,andfindtruehealing,saysBrianaBorten,CEOofthewellnessorganizationDragontree.Can'tpinpointwhyyou'resad?Trywriting.Sometimesit'seasytopinpointthereasonyoufeelupset―say,ifyoujustcan'tgetoveryourex,youbombedyourbigworkpresentation,oryouhadamajorfightwithyourpartner.But,atothertimes,youmaybesadfornodiscerniblereason.Whenthisisthecase,grabapenandapieceofpaperand“writewithoutstoppingforfiveminutesorlonger,”suggestslifecoachSunnyJoyMcMillan.Notonlymayyounaturallyuncoverwhat'scausingyoursadness,butjusttheactofwritingmayhelpyoustarttofeelbetter,somethingthat'sbackedbynumerousstudies.Alternatively,youcouldalsotrykeepingajournal,takingayogaclass,ormeditating―allofwhicharegreatwaystofocusonyourinnerself.Embraceyouremotions.Aswementionedearlier,whenyouavoidsadnessaltogether,you’reactuallydoingmoreharmthangood.“Youcan’thealwhatyoudon’tfeel,”sayslifecoachandauthorNancyLevin.Asuncomfortableasitmaybe,acknowledgingandembracingyoursadnessisactuallythefirststeptofeelingbetter."Insteadofrunningawayoreatingsomething,drinkingsomething,oryellingatsomeone,breatheitin,"TibetanBuddhistnunandauthorPemaChödröntoldOprahduringanepisodeofSuperSoulSunday."Nomatterhowbaditfeels,youjustgiveitmorespace.Whenyoubreathein,youopentoit."Toreleasesademotions,don'toverlookthevalueinagoodcry.Alternatively,youcouldalsotry"crashing,"whichissomethingLevindoeswhenshe'ssad.“IputonmusicormoviesorshowsthatIknowwillhelpmecryandhavearelease,”shesays.(Needsomerecommendations?Inourexperience,SamSmith's"StayWithMe"orColdplay's"FixYou"arebothgreatoptionsforacatharticcry.)Whileitmayseemcounter-intuitive,Levinisactuallyontosomething."Onlyhumansexhibitemotionalcrying,"saysDr.MattBellace,PhD,psychologist,andself-helpauthor.Andnottogettooscience-ybutBellacesaysabiochemicalanalysisoftearsfoundthatthedropletscontainanendorphinnamedleucine-enkephalin,whichisknowntoreducepainandimprovemood.Plus,accordingtoastudypublishedinFrontiersinPsychology,cryingisassociatedwiththeactivationoftheparasympatheticnervoussystem―whichstimulatesarelaxationresponse―meaningitmayhaveaself-soothingeffectonpeople.Equallyimportant:Thesamestudyfoundthat"criersmostlikelyreportmoodimprovementiftheyreceivecomfortfromothers,"soitmaybehelpfultoletitoutinfrontofaclosefriendorfamilymember.Now,here'showtomoveon.Onceyou’veuglycrieduntilyoureyesburn,it’stimetogetagriponthings.Itcouldtakeafewdays,afewweeks,orevenafewmonths.“Griefdoesn’tliveonatimeline,”saysLevin.Butyoucan’tstayinadarkholeforever.Here’showtocrawlout:Setthebarridiculouslylow.Toensurethatyoudon'tgofromzeroto100andbacktozeroagain,“laythegroundworkforsuccessbyinitiatingactioninthesmallestpossibleincrements,”suggestsMcMillan.Startbydoingsomethingsimple(likebrushingyourteethorwashingyourface)andthencontinuetakingsmall,incrementalsteps(say,makingcoffeeorputtingonaclean,cozysweatsuit).“Onceyougetmovingyoumaybesurprisedthatyoufeelinspiredtodomore,”shesays.Findwhatdoesmakeyouhappy.(Andlaugh).Considerthistheoppositeofcrashing:Insteadofembracingweepy,tearjerkers,pickoutanupliftingread,putonsomehappytunes,orwatchafewfeel-goodfilms,suggestsMcMillan.Alternatively,youcouldengageinanactivityorhobbyyoutrulyenjoy,whetherthat'svolunteering,workingonachallengingjigsawpuzzle,ortendingtoyourlushgardens.Evenbetter?Doingsomethingthat'llmakeyoulaugh(think:listeningtoacomedypodcast,orevenwatchingacatvideoonYouTube)."Laughinginresponsetopainandsadnesscanbeaterrificcopingmechanism,"saysBellace,adding,"Laughterreleasesendorphinssimilartoexercise,reducesthestresshormonecortisol,andincreasesdopamine(a.k.a.'thefeel-good-hormone')."Ofcourse,thegrievingprocesstakestime,"sothereisnoshameinnotwantingtolaughforawhile,"assuresBellace.Reachouttoyourpeople―especiallyifyou'refeelinglonely.Havingasupportnetworkiskey,especiallyifyou’regoingthroughadifficulttime―soconsiderthispermissiontoinviteyourgirlfriendsoverforevenmorewineandcheese(yes,avirtualhappyhour,countstoo).RelatedStoriesAll97BooksinOprah’sBookClubTheseSelf-CareTipsWillTransformYourLifeNeedsomehelpexpandingyoursocialcircle?"Dothingsoutsidethehomethatincludeotherpeople,”saysBorten.Forexample,picksomethingthatgenerallyinterestsyou,likeabookclub.“You’llbesurprisedhowquicklyacommunityforms.”Andwhileit’sgreattohavefriendsIRL,evenanonlinecommunitycanofferkindnessandaccountability.TrysearchingFacebookforgroupsthatmaybeabletooffersupport―forexample,abereavement/grievingsupportgroup.Or,searchgroupsbyinterests(travel?cooking?evencrochet!)tofindlike-mindedpeoplewhocanliftyourspiritswithacommonpassion.Just“makesuretheonlinegroupisalovingplace,involvingpeoplewithacommongoal,”saysBorten.Reframeyourthoughtstostopthinkingaboutthepast.Let’ssaythatafterabreakup,youkeeptellingyourselfyou’llneverfindloveagain.Or,perhapsyougotanot-so-glowingreviewfromyourbossatwork,sonowyou'reconvincedyou'llneverbepromotedandyoumighthavechosenthewrongcareerentirely.That'swhenit'stimetochangeyournarrative.Therapistscallthistechniquecognitiverestructuringandit'saprocessinwhichyouidentifyandchallengedistressingandirrationalthoughts.Onewaytodothis:Simplyturnanegativethoughtintoapositiveone.Forexample,saysMcMillan,insteadoftellingyourself,"I’llbealoneforever,"trysaying"Iwillfindloveagain."(Orifthat’sastretchevensaying“Imayfindloveagain,”isbetter!)You’llfeelmorepeaceandlesssadness,andeventuallyyouwillevenbelieveit.Spendtimeinnature.Rockmorerecommendsexperiencingtheoutdoorswithallfiveofyoursenses,whichshecalls“behavioralactivation.”Payattentiontowhatyousee,feel,hear,smellandpossiblytasteinnature,anditmayhelpyououtofyourslump.“Gettingoutofhibernationandbeingactivestimulatesthenervoussystemandgivespeopletheopportunitytoseebeautyintheworld,”saysRockmore.That'salsopartofthereasonwhyspendingtimeoutsidecanreducestressanddecreasebloodpressure,aswellasincreasecreativity,andcognition.Don'thavetimefora6-milehike?Accordingtoa2019study,spending120minutesaweek(orjustover17minutesperday)exploringyourlocalparkorwalkingaroundyourneighborhoodcangreatlyenhanceyouroverallsenseofwell-being.Seekhelpifyouthinkyoumaybedealingwithdepression.Ifyoursadnessgoesbeyondtheblues—yoursleepingpatternsandeatinghabitschange,you’renotinterestedinactivitiesyouusedtoenjoy,youhavetroubleconcentratingormakingdecisions—itmaymeanit'smorethanjustennui.Andwhileself-helpbooksareagoodtool(RockmorerecommendsTheHappinessTrapandBeattheBluesBeforeTheyBeatYou),youmayfindthattalkingtoatherapist—evenifit'sthroughanonlineplatform—ishelpful.Ifyouareconsideringself-harm,calltheNationalSuicidePreventionLifelineat1-800-273-8255ortextHOMEto741-741,theCrisisTextLine.SaraStillmanBergerSaraisafreelancewriterinNewYork,whereshehidesherfavouritecandyfromherhusband,twokidsandevenhergoldenretriever.Thegoldfishneverasksforanything.Sara'sworkhasappearedinTheWashingtonPost,Women’sHealthMagazine,EatingWell,shape.com,ScaryMommy,Runner’sWorld,Prevention,Seventeen,MarthaStewartWeddings,andBridesMagazine,amongotherpublications.ThiscontentisimportedfromOpenWeb.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite.YourHealthiestSelfTheNo-RegretsApproachtoDonatingMoneyTheImportanceofLivingaLifeofServiceThisMentalShiftWillHelpYouFindYourPurposeHowtoRenewYourMotivationAdvertisement-ContinueReadingBelowCreateaNewBeginningatAnyTimeFinallyStandingUptoMyBiggestFearHowtoBeHappyAloneHowtoCopewithGrief10BrainHealthyFoods9HealthyMorningRoutineIdeasTurnthePageonAnxietyWhatIsAnticipatoryGrief?Advertisement-ContinueReadingBelow